Assalaamu’alaikum wr. wb.
In a way, I think for me, writing is a therapy. Two days ago I had a bad day, a cummulation of a bad week. Then I remember I had these kind of bad days before, and I wrote some blog posts ehen it hsppened, which I think helped me through the days. Reading the posts tod
2 days ago when I felt really down, I looked for those posts, and I read them. so glad re
The past week has ben tough. Then I remember I had some rough weeks too before where I just realized that there’s such thing as up and downs in Bells Palsy. After feeling better day by day in week 1, my condition went downhill in week 2, something that I did not know csn happen. I thought you ca only get better each day with the therapy. I know better now.
The past week (week 2) I started to losemy taste again, somwthing that I tought I already regained. I
Wassalaamu’alaikum wr. wb.
Assalamu’alaikum wr. wb.
Mr. Ghifary’s now here …
Above is the very last blog draft that Syva was about to prepare before she passed away. She started writing it at 16 Dec 2019 via her mobile phone. It’s unfinished, even the title, but I just posted it as is to reminisce about her struggle. At that time, we both still thought that it was Bell’s palsy effects, according to the diagnosis outcome that we got from a doctor in Bandung weeks before.
Although we can see that some parts of the contents are incomplete, she wrote perfect opening and closing salaam. Her habit when writing a blog post was that she always began with salaam, even before writing the title. She ever told me that that really meant to greet and pray for all the readers for their safety and welfare before everything else, showing how caring and selfless she was.
I remember that she confided her health situation to me that she got:
- unusual headache, especially after some physical work
- often generate typos when typing
- loss her taste on food even her favourite ones, which was really not so her
- moderately loss her articulation when talking
My fault that I perhaps will always feel guilty, I didn’t act proactively to further figure out what’s really going on — the fact that it was diagnosed as Bell’s palsy made me complacent and careless. I could take some days on-leave and put my full support and attention for her, could keep pushing the doctor/hospital to check more rigorously and asking for CT / MRI scan much earlier, could consult with other doctors for second opinion.
3 days later after the date when this draft was created, we visited a neurologist at RS Premier Bintaro, got her MRI scan, and found that her sickness was not just Bell’s palsy. It’s something much worse, a little monster in the right side of her brain that is notoriously very stubborn to fight against.
Obviously after that she did not get a chance to operate laptop or only interact with mobile phone in a very minimal occasion so that she could not continue any blog write-up. And the rest has been a fate that we must accept, although it’s very hard. She still managed to scratch and write though, but with paper and pen. I plan to document some of them in this blog as well some time later.
My takeaway on this is that please give a full support and attention for your love one when he/she really needs it, especially related to the health. Keep being skeptical for any health diagnosis outcome. Being a man, I cannot be so careless like this.
Wassalamu’alaikum wr. wb.